Saturday, March 7, 2009
What Do I Say?
In the past few weeks, several people have asked me if this is my first child after finding out I'm pregnant. What am I supposed to say? I almost feel like it's a catch 22. On one hand, this isn't my first child. I lost my first child. I never got to meet my first child. But then do I really want to bring that up to someone and watch their face go from smiling to an awkward sympathetic look (especially for someone who has never experienced it...I think it's most awkward for them)? It's not that I want people to feel sorry for me. But I almost feel like if I say "Yes, this is my first", then I'm not acknowledging the precious life I saw on that screen this past summer. Yes, it was early when we lost the baby, but does that make him/her any less of my child? I guess I do want people to acknowledge my last little one's brief existence. I don't want to pretend my lil Peanut never was. But I don't want to put people in a situation they really didn't expect nor ask for. Perhaps it just depends on the person asking and the relationship I have with them. Just something I've been pondering lately.