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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Here We Go

So I debated whether or not I would start an online blog. I don't have Internet at home but I can access it at work and at family's houses so I figured, why not, let's give it a try. Writing - the old-fashioned way - has always been therapeutic for me. I've always loved writing. In school, when we had a paper to do, I'd actually get a little bit excited (nerd alert!). I love making words come together on paper (or online).

I have been debating what to make of this blog - it's main purpose. Should I just ramble on about movies I've seen, happenings at work, trips I've taken? Or should I make this my baby blog of sorts - something a lot of my friends have been doing. That's right...I said the b word. But I figure it's okay because all of the people I'd give this blog address to already know. Anyway, I'm not quite sure what this will turn into. As silly as it sounds, I almost didn't want to mention my pregnancy on such a public forum as this - for fear that somehow, actually saying it might jinx me. I know, that's completely ridiculous and it goes against everything I believe about God. But still, I can't help but have that small fear of the unknown; of the future. After all, I'm one who likes to plan and know what's going on. In the past month, God has been teaching me that I don't always need to know what's going on...only that I need to trust in Him.

Since I found out I was pregnant on July 2nd, it's been a whirlwind of emotions. I've already had 6 ultrasounds, been to the ER, and been told everything under the sun that could go wrong. But through it all, God has given me the grace and peace needed. I am extremely excited about the opportunity He's given me. According to the doctors, I wasn't supposed to get pregnant when I did - which just proves His sovereignty. I look back and am amazed at how far He's brought my husband and I. He is so good and I give Him all the glory and praise for what He's already accomplished. My prayer is that He will continue this extraordinary miracle He's begun - seeing it out to completion this coming March. But no matter what, I will continually learn patience and trust. Please join in my prayer efforts - mostly for me to become and learn whatever God has for me in all of this; and to continue to trust in His goodness and will for my life. I am scared, happy, nervous, and joyful all at the same time.