healing in more ways than one

I had outpatient surgery Tuesday at around 3:00. It was schedule for 2:00 but there was an emergency with another lady and her triplets so we had to wait. I'm not good with hospitals and they didn't knock me out until after we were in the OR so of course I cried in front of the doctor and nurses. I'm sure they're used to that though. The procedure took about half an hour. Physically, I'm not too bad. Emotionally, I'm up and down and I know that will be the case for a while. Sometimes after waking up, I think for a second if all of this really happened; you know, when you first wake up and you've gotta get a grip on reality again.

I'm over at my parent's house. I needed a change of scenery - we both did. Septtro was able to take off the first week of school and be home with me so I'm very thankful for that. I haven't been back to work all week but plan to return Monday. I'm really dreading that. I know it will be hard to get back into the routine of things. After talking to my mom, I realized that it would probably be best if the people at work were told before I came back. I think that'd make it easier on me not to have to explain it to so many people (cause you know people are going to be curious why I've been out so long) plus it'd save others from saying things that may strike a nerve with my emotions without realizing it. I don't mind sharing what's happened with others, I just know it will be hard. And I hope I don't just come across to others as "poor pitiful me" - although I know it's ok for me to be sad. I honestly want God to get the glory He deserves and pray He'll give me the words to say.

I can't say I don't miss Peanut. Even though I know he/she wasn't really alive, at least Peanut was still a part of me. It was hard after waking up from surgery and realizing Peanut was really gone. That night was especially hard too. But I have to take every day as a new day - praise God for His goodness and the things He has blessed me with: a nice house, sweet dog, great friends and family, a loving and supportive husband and so much more.

Thanks for your prayers and sweet words. Please continue to pray for Septtro and I as we grapple with all of this. May God glorify himself through us and through this situation.