Beach Time!

We went to the beach during spring break this year.  We have gone with my parents and brother's family ever since Ri and Emmory were babies.  Ri absolutely loves everything about the beach.  Kaylee loved the sand and pretty much stayed away from the water.  (it was very cold, to her credit)

The weather wasn't great but this was the first year it was cold for almost the entire time.  But the kids still enjoyed themselves and so did we!!

Here are some of my favorite shots!

view from the front porch - can't beat that!

all the cousins on the front porch swing!

growing up so fast!

we went to Charleston one morning

she didn't understand why she couldn't pick up the cannon balls

lil land lover

everybody!

our family!

pure joy!

on a rainy day we went to the aquarium

Baller

Rilynn started tball this Spring.  I'm not sure yet if she will take to it - she seems to be a lot more interested in the arts, especially marching bands.  But the arts are A LOT more expensive.  So we started with tball.  :)

first game - she chose her number :)

Her games are always at 6pm so that's made it a bit tricky for dinner.  Septtro is coaching track for a few more weeks so game days aren't really my favorite as far as dinner is concerned.  And I'm not sure the younger ones will be as fortunate to be involved in activities so early.  I can't imagine taking three kids to separate fields at different times, much less separate events!  :|

the most important part - snacks after the game (with her cousin)

I'm pretty sure they did this by themselves - sweet cousins!

second at-bat she hit it on the first try!

The Job That Never Ends

I get to stay home each day with my girls.  I'm so thankful!  I've always wanted to be home with my kids.  

But there are periods of time when I get overwhelmed, stressed out, and quite honestly feel like a big ol failure.

Allow me to elaborate.

Before I had kids, I worked full-time.  I didn't love my job but I didn't hate it.  It paid the bills and allowed us to do some extra things.  I remember imagining what it would be like when I had a baby and I was, Lord-willing, at home....

I'd sip on coffee and stare out into the backyard (wish the beach was my backyard) while my very content and perfect baby played on their own until I finished my perfect morning moment.  I could do whatever I wanted.  The whole day was mine!  I would have a lot of time to clean my house and organize things, prepare delicious meals for my family, run errands, and even catch up on some old shows.

But then I realized, being at home all day with kids isn't as freeing as I thought.  I still had a job to do.  A different job.  And one I do absolutely love and am thankful for.  But I don't get off at 5:00.  And I don't get vacation days.  I'm constantly surrounded by my job - all day, every day.  And...I'm just being honest...sometimes it all gets overwhelming.  Sometimes, I don't want to do my job anymore - or at least for a day.  

my messy child

I've tried to figure out what it is that's lacking most times I feel this way.  For the most part, I think it's just lack of joy and my own selfishness.  I forget what gifts my children are and that they aren't interruptions.  I get upset that I can't do certain house chores exactly when I want or when there seem to be too many messes to clean up or that there's always clothes to sort through, or when a certain child just can't seem to get her shoes on fast enough...etc etc.  

On the flip side, I do believe moms need some time to themselves and away from the kids.  I guess I just need to find a balance of the two.  Maybe I should ask for a specific night or afternoon for myself every so often and then an evening with just my husband also.  Besides when Kaylee was born, I haven't been away from Rilynn - my oldest - overnight.  I think I'm due for a vacation - a real vacation from my particular job.  No kids.  Especially before this new baby comes and I begin nursing again, I want to take advantage of some time away - for myself and also with my husband. 

Any suggestions??  :)

Also, I'm assuming I'm not alone in this struggle.  I think part of my issue is I have no schedule.  Schedules stress me out because things happen that prevent me from doing what's on "my list" sometimes and then I feel like a failure.  But then there's no plan for my days - not even a loose plan.  Plus Kaylee is too young to do most things Rilynn can do and if she can, she quickly loses interest.  And then I'm about to have a baby again which will throw any schedule out the window at least temporarily.  

So...I think I need to make a change of some sort.  Just not quite sure where to start.  Well, except for being more consistent in spending time with the Lord before interacting with my girls...I have noticed that does make a difference.  

oh how I love them and am truly thankful to be their mom!