Sometimes I get angry- then I feel guilty

I love being a mom.  I really do.  I've always wanted children and am thankful to have three beautiful girls!  But lately, I've been dealing with a lot of guilt.  Many times, I don't feel I have any clue what I'm doing.  I hear the Lord urging me, in the midst of a tense situation, to not get angry with my kids.  Don't raise your voice.  Don't say that.  No, no, no - don't do it!

And I do.  I do it anyway.  

Enter the blanket of guilt.  Why did I do that again???  I'm ruining my children.  They will grow up to resent me and their childhood.  I'm a terrible mother!  Why did God even entrust me with these precious souls?  I can't get it right!

In His goodness, He has shown me that I'm striving.  I'm trying to "be a good mom" and not resting in grace and love.

"Freedom from the stain of sin.  Rest from our strivings to be worthy in ourselves. Love that never changes. Mercy for all our failures. Grace that saves eternally.  These are things that Christ lived, died, and rose again in order to give us - precisely because we can't get them any other way.  We can't achieve them and we can't earn them. No matter how strong or how good we are.  No matter how hard we try.  They are gifts and everyone knows a gift is to be received, not earned." - Christ in the Chaos by Kimm Crandall

If you ask my husband, he will tell you that one major area I've been working on is my tone of voice - with him as well as towards my girls.  I know it's not honoring to the Lord when I speak harshly towards my husband or my children.  I want to change.  And I have been striving to do so in my own power.  

"But our works are simply a means of living out the standing God has granted us, by grace, through Christ's sacrifice. The worlds flow from the grace, they don't produce the grace." - Christ in the Chaos 

I'll never get it right.  And He already has.  And even when I do choose the right response, it's not me!  It's Him!  

So the key is, for me, to not beat myself up when I get angry and respond incorrectly over and over.  The key is to continue to show my family that I am weak and He is strong; to ask for their forgiveness and point them to the Savior.  And those times when I do get it "right", I cannot bask in my own glory of success - but praise the One who gave me the power to overcome my sin!

The Lord gave me Proverbs 15 after dwelling on my guilt.  That chapter speaks a lot on how you use your words.  I picked out a verse and the girls and I made collages with magazines to serve as a visual for everyone how our words and even tones can affect others.  

"Hot tempers cause arguments but patience brings peace" - Proverbs 15:18

I hope to improve on these areas more and more.  I know I'll never be perfect.  And now I'm at the place where I'm okay with that.  :)

My Favorite Make-Ahead Lunches and Snacks

Recently, I have been making the girls' lunches the night before.  It saves time and sanity once lunch time rolls around.  I hand them their "special container" and done and done!

That definitely frees me up a bit but then I'd get hungry and not leave time for me to grab something halfway decent to eat.  Some days I'd end up eating lunch around 2pm after the older two were napping.  Not exactly ideal.  

So for the past couple weeks, I've been preparing food for myself ahead of time too...as much as possible.  It's been working out really well!  

One thing I'm having to still get out of my head is that lunch doesn't have to always include a sandwich.

I thought I'd share a few of my favorites.  

1.  Egg salad...can be put on a sandwich or just with some lettuce or spinach or greens of your choice.  Things I put in my egg salad: mayo, mustard, paprika, garlic powder, salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, and a splash of pickle juice.

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2.  Strawberry and Egg Salad.  This has become a new favorite of mine. It was born out of leftovers I wanted to use, a Google search, and some adaptations.  Hard boiled eggs, strawberries, and greens with a homemade vinaigrette dressing.  Dressing is equal parts apple cider vinegar, dijon mustard, and olive oil.  

3.  Faux Cookie Dough (kid approved).  This came from FamilyFun Magazine.  It's a good alternative snack with a protein punch!  

In a food processor, blend 1 1/2 cups of chickpeas, 6 Tblsp brown sugar, 1/4 cup peanut butter, 3 Tblsp oats, 1 Tblsp milk, 2 tsp vanilla, 1/8 tsp salt and baking soda.  Fold in 1/3 cup of chocolate chips - great on apple slices or other fresh fruit.  

4.  Zucchini Spaghetti (kid approved) Just shred zucchini ahead of time and put in an air-tight bowl.  At lunch add sauce and cheeses and anything else you may have in the fridge that may taste good with it - shredded chicken or red beans perhaps?  My kids also gobbled this up for dinner one night. I just told them it was spaghetti.  

 5.  Whole Wheat Corn Muffins by The Happy Housewife (kid approved).  Don't let the whole wheat throw you off.  These are sweet and oh so delicious!  A friend of mine brought these with a meal after Logann was born and I asked for the recipe and have made them several times since!  

6. Black Bean Salad.  This was a combination of leftovers and trying to reproduce something I'd had at a friend's house.  This particular one is black beans, corn, avocado, and feta cheese with lemon juice (can do lime too) and sea salt.  

7.  Baked Brie.  So I must admit, this is the best when it's fresh out of the oven but the leftovers are still a very close second.  I used a pie crust instead of a puff pastry.  I still can't get the cheese to not leak out but I just all that gooey goodness on top.  Red grapes and apples are my favorites to eat with this.  Your favorite cracker would also be good.  

Please share any favorites you have.  I'd love to add them to my rotation!!!